Like Flies in my Champagne Bottle…
by Michelle H. C. Zhu
Summary: After Doma disbanded, Anzu discovers that Amelda is the captain of a cruise ship and asks him to find her a lover. But things don't go as planned and the brunette's life ends in a sad and dramatic way.


How he actually managed to end up in this situation was ridiculous beyond measures. Why did Dartz have to go back to Atlantis anyway? With the Atlantean gone, the three Doma warriors had nowhere to go and was each forced to take up a job and make money.

Even at night, the air around him was 80 degrees or so—they WERE in Bermudian oceans after all. Amelda frowned and tugged at the collar of his white suit. Damn them for making them so tight and warm and mandatory. And the hat was stupid too.

Amelda was NOT built for being a captain of a cruise ship.

Captains were good and proud people. He was not. He lied, he killed, and he shoplifted bubble gum from Wal-mart.

Raphael ended finding a job as a personal guard of some rich businessman, (hopefully not Kaiba, he noted dryly) and Varon…well…he didn't want to know. Yet somehow, Amelda managed to become a CAPTAIN of a cruise ship. When he asked about this phenomenon, he was told in response that there was a shortage of sexy, young men that could fill the position of seducing woman and that they had to find whomever available in the time being.

The redhead took another sip of his butterscotch before realizing that his glass was empty. Without a second thought, he threw the wine glass into the ocean, completely disregarding the fact that particular wine glass was at least worth $100 at the least.

Stupid luxury cruse line. Could have just used paper cups.

Just then, footsteps echoed behind him. "Captain?"

Amelda glanced around, wondering if he was about to get berated for being a bad captain on his first sail out at sea. He blinked when he saw a girl standing behind him.

She was a young girl of sixteen or seventeen with sparkling blue eyes and russet brown hair that cascaded down her back, making her a brunette…and Varon's would-be twin sister. The pretty brunette blinked at the familiar sight of the captain's face. "…Amelda?" she cried incredulously. "Is that really you?"

As she drew closer to him, Amelda breathed in her musk and smelt a wisp of fresh apples with a dash of cinnamon.

…

Wait a minute, he was allergic to cinnamon. Wrinkling his nose, he coughed a bit. "Do I know you?"

Anzu frowned, obviously not expecting her long-lost love of her life to act this way. "Yeah, I'm Anzu Mazaki, remember?" she protested and clenched her hands together anxiously. "We were childhood friends!"

"I don't live Japan…"

"We went to the same high school!"

"But I never went to high school…"

"We went on a date at the beach once!"

Amelda pried her fingers of his shoulder and drew back, eying her warily. He questioned her sanity; this girl was obviously delusional. "…are you sure you aren't just an escapee from the local amnesia asylum?"

"No." —Amelda's eye twitched— "I mean yes," Anzu pondered this fact for a moment. "Well, I know you anyway. You were one of the Doma warriors working for Dartz, right? It's been a while ever since the entire Orichalcos fiasco. What was it…three years ago?"

Gray eyes darted around the ship nervously. Memory lapses were never a good thing. "Actually, it's only been a week. The cruise left this morning, remember?"

She paused. "Oh. I knew that…"

"Aha." Amelda coughed for a moment before clapping his hands together. He flashed a fake grin at the brunette and turned a heel, ready to walk off. "Well, uh, I guess I will see you later—ack!"

"No! Keep me company!" Anzu suddenly cried. She quickly grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him back, efficiently choking the redhead by doing so. "I want a friend to talk to!"

"Uh, but I'm not your friend—I mean, I don't even _know_ you—"

"Yes, you do!"

"—but I need to assist with people who need help—"

"I need help!"

"—as the captain of this ship, I've got important things to do—"

"Your butterscotch can wait!"

Amelda finally gave up struggling and stopped thrashing his arms around. Tugging away from her near-death grasp, he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "Fine…" he finally muttered. "What do you need help with?"

Anzu pouted for a moment before turning away and looking out at the ocean. "Well, you see, Amelda. I came onto this cruise ship because I'm getting awfully lonely," she began. "The Pharaoh seems to never have any more time for me…he's always busy doing something that he won't explain…"

Amelda rubbed his neck uncomfortably. He wasn't really a love specialist. "Maybe he's just—"

"—and Yuugi, well, Yuugi already seems to have a girlfriend. I mean, I went to school one day and saw a hockey puck-sized hickey on his neck!"

The gray-eyed boy raised his eyebrows. "Uh, I think it could be because of—"

"—then, when I asked him about it, he just blushed and mumbled something about buying a new leather collar or something."

"Err, has it ever occurred to you that the Pharaoh…"

Anzu interrupted him with a loud wail. "I feel so left out! There's nobody **HERE FOR ME ANYMORE**!" Amelda inwardly cursed himself for not buying those earplugs in that drugstore that had past a few days ago. This woman was crazy. Crazier than Varon.

Had this situation popped up back in the Doma days, Amelda would have whipped out an AK-47 from his back pocket and put the sad girl out of her misery without a second thought of the consequences. But this wasn't Doma anymore. He was a **CAPTAIN** of an expensive cruise ship. He had to freaking grit his teeth while the freaking girl whined freaking on and freaking on about her freaking problems because that's why freaking captains of freaking expensive cruise ships freaking did in their freaking spare freaking time.

Consul sex lives. Definitely. _Oh freaking la dee…_ he thought while rolling his eyes. Amelda frowned. He really had to lay off the butterscotches—they were making him unhealthily sarcastic. He turned back to the weeping girl and was about to put on his sympathetic face when he suddenly realized she was using his sleeve as her handkerchief.

"So I just…just came here to cool down…think…maybe get a few screws…" she finished her sob story with a sniffle and blew into his sleeve. "Oh, Yuugi…sniff…Yuugi…"

Amelda's eyebrow twitched and it took every last bit of his will-power not to stuff her into the garbage can residing next to him. "Miss Mazaki."

"…I can't believe that you got a girlfriend…"

"Miss Mazaki."

"…and Ryou too! And even Malik!"

Amelda snatched his now snot-ridden sleeve away from her grasp and wringed it out over the rail. "Miss Mazaki, _please_ control yourself."

Anzu sniffled. "Sorry."

"It's fine," he replied gruffly, shaking off the rest of mucus and scowling slightly. "Now, if there's anything I could do to help you with your little problem…"

Anzu suddenly looked up, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears. Or maybe she just sprayed herself with pepper spray. "Well, yes, there is one thing," she sniffled some more. "You see, I heard that many single men come here often to dine and party a bit. Do you think you could ask around if any of them are interested in finding a romantic partner?"

"Well, I could…try," he finally confessed after a few moments of silence. "Any specifics?"

Anzu immediately stopped sniffling into her handkerchief. Rigidly, she rotated her head around in a manner that the redhead could only describe as mechanically-induced. "Wait—did I hear you correctly?"

"I suppose you did."

Her jaw dropped and she began stuttering and blinking furiously.

"You said **YES** to my request?"

"Of course."

"You're not joking, are you now?"

"No, I don't think so…"

"You will actually _find _me a boyfriend?"

Amelda was tempted to throw her overboard. "_Yes_," he gritted out tightly, his patience wearing thin by the second. "I will actually _find you a boyfriend_."

The blue-eyed girl placed her hands on her hips and closed an inquisitive eye, pouting slightly as she did so. "And you're not joking with me, because I swear, a lot of men do that to me nowadays for some _strange reason_…"

He slapped his hand over his face. "MISS MAZAKI!" he bellowed finally. Anzu stopped short her ranting and looked at him innocently. Amelda peeked between his fingers and removed his eyes, sighing. "…just…just tell me what kind of man you want…"

Anzu's expression was so immediate that he had less then a single moment to blink before she gripped the lapels of his jacket and pulled their faces together so their noses were touching. Within moments, she changed from a sweet, kind girl into an intimidating and hostile-looking tormenter.

"Ok, listen carefully, now," she growled lowly, her face mutinous. "I'm looking for a handsome man. He must be handsome, _must_ be—it's a necessity! I want a drool-worthy, mega-hunky Playgirl model!"

Amelda blinked at her tyranny._ What am I, a pretty boy virgin detector?_

By now, her voice rose to hysterics and by now half of the people on the ship was staring at her. "**I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO SEARCH THE ENTIRE SHIP**! You _have _to find one."

Anzu then flung the captain away who fell on his butt with an oof, and continued, pretending that none of that actually just happened. "He must also be around my age," she decided, tapping her chin. "Someone between…"

Amelda unsteadily rose from the floor and dusted of his shoulders._ Didn't anybody ever tell this girl that cruises are usually packed with old people?_

"…18-24."

He fell back onto the floor again, anime-style.

The apricot-girl spun around and jabbed her finger in the captain's direction. "Oh, right, and I want someone who's mature as well. And someone who won't laugh in my face when I talk to them!"

For the second time that night, he tried to heave himself form the floor. _…well there's fifty plus bachelors out the window. _

"And, and, tell him that I'm really pretty, ok?" she continued gushing before snapping her fingers and winking at Amelda who grimaced. "And that if he's really competitive, that's good too—because a lot of guys are after me as well."

He face-faulted. "…do you always hear what you _want_ to hear?" the gray-eyed boy asked dully, but Anzu ignored him.

"And don't forget to list of my qualities; I'm a great dancer and I can sing…"

Amelda dusted himself off _again_, praying to the Gods that he won't be thrown around like a rag doll again by this spazamaniac of a girl. He stood there, dimly wondering if he should pull out a notepad and begin writing or something

"…I have pretty good social skills. Oh, did I mention I can dance rather well?"

Amelda covered his eyes and groaned.

_Five minutes later… _

"…I can also play the piano and I can cook too. And perhaps you didn't know this, but people tell me I'm a _rather talented_ dancer…"

By now, Amelda had run out of his internal sarcastic remarks to comment her ranting. Instead, he had his eyes glued on the gigantic out-deck movie screen behind him while the brunette was checking off her 'what I am good at' list on her fingers. Amelda vaguely wondered if Anzu realized that she had said 'dancing' about a dozen times already.

Anzu sighed and then looked cheerfully at the redhead. "…well, did you get all of that captain?"

He resisted the urge to slap her. "Shut up, Keanu Reeves is taking of his shirt…"

She frowned. "…cap…tain?" she asked slowly.

"What?"

Anzu leaned sideways and hesitantly peering into his gray eyes. "Umm…you know that Keanu Reeves is a guy, right?"

"…"

He blinked.

Amelda quickly spun around, placed his hands behind his back and cleared his throat. "Of course!" he stuttered. "I was just—um—checking if the movie worked!" He flashed a big, fake smile. "The projectors in the back are rather old and sometimes cut off the movies by accident. It's my duty as the captain to make sure everything works good and steady!"

The brunette nodded understandingly, either completely ignoring (or maybe she just didn't know) the fact that they were talking about a brand new IMAX here.

"—now, I want you to proceed with caution…and don't forget—"

Amelda thanked his lucky stars that the apricot girl was a complete dolt. He frowned for a moment. Or maybe she was just too nice. Well, either way, whether out of stupidity or kindness she didn't accuse of him of anything.

"—just remember that that if he—"

He glanced at the popcorn stand in boredom. _Maybe I should introduce her to Varon… _

"…and you did remember all my personality traits, right?" Anzu's voice faded from the background into Amelda's conscience, and he quickly turned back around and smiled.

"I mean, of course I did, Miss Mazaki!" he said immediately without thinking, even if hadn't listened to a single word that just came out of her mouth. "Everyone of your _wonderful _qualities."

Anzu smiled in return. "Remember now, I want a handsome and mature man between the ages of 18-24, who's rich and is searching for a long-lasting, romantic partner."

"Mm-hmm…"

Ignoring the fact that the captain was staring at the garbage can instead of her face, she clapped her hands together delightfully. "Well, thank you! I'll be taking my leave now—bye!" she beamed lightheartedly before leaving the deck.

A few hours after the blue-eyed girl's leave, the movie was over and most of the people had already gone to their rooms for a good night's rest. Amelda yawned and looked around. The deck was deserted, except for a single man.

The redhead rubbed his eyes and squinted. Was it just him or…

As the figure drew closer to him, he was able to completely make out the man's features. Amelda sorely wished he hadn't. He had to resist the urge to bang his head against the wall and apparently, Seto Kaiba had the same thought in mind.

"Hell no, _you're_ here." he scowled. "You're that punk, aren't you?"

"Kaiba…"

Amelda stopped short of his insult. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Was it just the butterscotch getting to his brain but did Seto Kaiba suddenly look sexy in the moonlight darkness?

* * *

A few days later, Anzu was relaxing in the bubble bath installed in her room and having a flirty daydream about her new romantic partner.

"What's this? A diamond ring—oh, you _spoil me_…" she drawled to her imaginary boyfriend, her voice reaching a high enough octave to break all the windows and champagne bottles three floors down.

Anzu giggled. "And by the way, those roses were beautiful…"

She smiled giddily and popped a runaway bubble floating off in the air with her finger. Oh, what she would do for a boyfriend…

_Tap. Tap. Tap. _

…somebody to tell her she was beautiful and special and that she was the sun that rose up from the mountains every single morning.

_Tap. Tap. Tap. _

Anzu cracked open an eye and frowned. She didn't want to be bothered right now. Deciding to ignore the unwanted visitor at her door, she turned over in her bathtub and was about to return to her bliss daydreams when a familiar voice came from the other side of the door.

"_Miss Mazaki_?"

The brunette immediately sat right up in the Jacuzzi. Was that the captain? That could only mean one thing…

Within moments, Anzu was stumbling around in the hallway, drenched head to toe in soapy water. She hastily threw on a cotton bathrobe, making sure to tie the knots tightly so nothing was exposed. She paused. The captain didn't seem like a pervert, but with a body like hers, one can never be too sure.

_Tap. Tap. Ta_—

"—I'M HERE!" she shrieked and threw open the door.

Captain Amelda's knuckles froze directly in front her face. She blinked a few times. He blinked a few times. Finally, he lowered his hand and shot her a strange look.

"…are you alright, Miss Mazaki?"

Anzu flashed a huge smile. "Just peachy!" she chirped and presented him a charming grin. He merely quirked an eyebrow in response. "Well? Did you find anybody?"

He nodded. "Yeah, there's a handsome and mature man between the ages of 18-24, who's rich and is also searching for a romantic partner on this ship. His name is Seto Kaiba."

Anzu beamed in delight upon hearing this news. "Really?" she exclaimed happily, stars practically glimmering in her eyes. She was going to be the girlfriend of the most eligible bachelor in all of Japan! Anzu clasped her hands together and sighed dreamily.

_SETO KAIBA! …note to self, call Shizuka…and maybe Mai as well…maybe I could rub it in her face!_ Anzu mentally high-fived herself. _This is so perfect!_

Amelda's eyebrow rose even higher above his hairline and he edged a few inches away from the dazed-struck girl who seemed as if her body was currently an auto-pilot and her mouth was rambling off by itself.

"…did you tell him all about me? Did you tell him about my stunning beauty and that I'm an amazing dancer?"

The redhead resisted the urge to roll his eyes so he settled for nodding, looking a bit uncomfortable this time though. "Uh, yes, but there is a problem however."

Anzu immediately snapped out of her daydream and looked at the captain with a frown. "Oh, is that so?" Her frown turned into a seductive smile. "Is it that he's married?"

The captain gave Anzu the most serious gaze he could muster up at a moment like this.

"Not exactly." He took a deep breath before continuing. "The thing is…well…that he's also searching for a handsome and a mature man between the ages of 18-24, who's preferably rich and is also searching for a romantic partner."

…

Anzu gawked at his words, her left eye twitching and her right one looking as if it had just been struck with a brain tumor. All of her hormone-induced, fan girl thoughts had just been thrown out the window. She wouldn't be the girlfriend of the richest CEO in all of Japan after all!

She hoped in the back of her mind that this was just a sickening prank that the captain decided to play on her because she was a beautiful, innocent girl currently standing half-naked in the doorway with water dripping down her body.

But no, because Amelda's expression remained completely impassive to her feminine charm. He then shrugged nonchalantly, as if their current conversation was on the weather rather that a _totally_ more important issue such as this one—that had an outcome of her boy toy fantasies being unfulfilled after this conversation was over!

Amelda coughed and scratched his head.

"Oh yeah, and, uh…he's my boyfriend."

"…"

Anzu fell to the floor with a dull thump.


End file.
